I went to California once as a kid. I remember the Hollywood Star Walk, the plethora of animals at the San Diego Zoo, and having my parents buy me a rubber skull souvenir from Disney Land (because skulls are what normal 8 year olds want from the happiest place on Earth).
1997 throwback. Typical kid at Disney (with great fashion sense).
So, really the only conclusion that brings me to is that I should likely revisit Southern California at some point, but this past summer I was excited to at least get back to the state as an adult and see a big part of it that was still blank on my travel map- San Francisco. Since I can never keep trips simple, I tossed Napa Valley and Yosemite in there as well (although wow, Yosemite is not a quick drive).
Also in exciting news, I made a new friend this past year! (Hi, Sam!) And when I can find someone who doesn't back down when I threaten to click the "purchase tickets" button within an hour of proposing a trip, I know we're going to have a good time.
Arrival
So at the end of July, we took a nonstop Frontier flight from Cleveland to San Francisco. Sam has lived in California, and her sister, Lena, still does. She offered us free accommodation which we took advantage of for a few nights, although her apartment is in Manteca well over an hour's drive outside of the city.
Side note: Sam thought it was funny to let me mispronounce the city as "Man-TECH-a" for months prior to the trip without ever correcting me. I didn't realize until we were at the baggage carousel at SFO and she casually dropped it as "Man-TEEK-a" into conversation. Thanks, pal.
So right, the BART is San Francisco's main public train system. We caught it from the airport to the end of the line West Dublin stop where Lena picked us up along with her cute toddler (and I don't care for kids so I actually mean this one was legitimately cute), but it was still a good 30-40 minutes from there to her place.
And I don't know how anyone can justify the cost of living in California... She rents a very modest one bedroom apartment for herself and her son, something that in areas around Cleveland you could find for under $500 a month. Her monthly rent is $1500, and she lives in a small town over an hour out of San Francisco. Honestly madness. When they say San Francisco has the most expensive rent in the US, it's no joke.
Lena had made us dinner and gotten an air bed for us to set up in the living room, and we had a nice night in with some wine before getting started on sightseeing the next day.
Day 1 Golden Gate Bridge & Alcatraz
Sam and I picked up our Enterprise rental the following morning, packed up, and headed back into San Francisco. Our day started with a Golden Gate Bridge photoshoot extravaganza. Baker Beach was the first stop, and we were told that oftentimes the parking lot is filled to capacity, but we were there early afternoon on a Wednesday and only ran into a light scattering of people.
The beach itself is gorgeous. It was pristinely clean and surprisingly huge- about a half a mile long. The sky was clear blue as was the water, and the Golden Gate Bridge was hanging out all picturesque on the skyline. Down at the end closest to the bridge are some rocks you can climb for more photos, but be warned that this end of the beach allows nudists. I'm all about freedom from clothing, but before you get reported on Facebook, you need to be careful that your perfect shot doesn't have a dick lurking in the background.
We drove to the overlook next where you can stand on top of the military batteries and photograph the bridge from above. (Pro tip: get cool shots like this by dancing and twirling like an idiot while your friend repeatedly snaps the shutter button. One is bound to look artsy).
Walking down to the actual bridge then, we took the last of our photos and a quick walk onto the Golden Gate Bridge just to say we had. I once watched a documentary on how many people have committed suicide by jumping off (over 1500!), so that's where my cheery thoughts were. (Happy to inform you barriers are being erected to prevent this.)
It was now early evening and I had well over 100 photos of the same bridge on my camera, so we went to check into our hostel for the night, the HI Hostel Fisherman's Wharf. This is the only hostel in the city with free parking, so that and the proximity to Alcatraz were the selling points. The hostel itself did not overly impress me (plus no alcohol allowed for no discernible reason- there wasn't even a bar on the premises), but those perks were worth it.
We had booked a night tour of Alcatraz for 6:30 PM and walked the mile or so down the road to Pier 33 (stopping for some Thai on the way) to catch the boat. Make sure you book these tours well in advance. I purchased our tickets almost three months prior, and when we arrived there was a sign up saying tickets for upcoming tours were sold out for about the next month.
The ride over allowed us some good views of the city and the island from the water. One thing to note about San Francisco is that it is chilly even in the summer- I luckily checked the weather last minute and packed some pants and jackets. That temperature drop is even more pronounced on the island of Alcatraz with the breeze off the Pacific Ocean hitting you while the sun goes down. The mass population of birds on the island also adds to the eerie atmosphere.
The tour was my favorite type: self-guided. After passing by the decrepit exterior (rundown and partially destroyed buildings, morgue, water tower, lots of graffiti from the Native American occupation of 1969-71), we picked up our audio guides at the entrance and were free to walk around at our own pace.
Sam was looking very festive for a dank, abandoned prison in her birthday girl sash.
The inside was bleak. There were hallways of cells in a three tier setup with actual street names like Broadway or Michigan Ave. The "Good Times cells" in C Block across from the library were a cushy assignment just due to the fact that nobody was opposite them (privacy) and natural light streamed in through the windows across from the cells. We saw the rec area, warden and officer's areas, visitation, library, and cafeteria still showing the menu from the last breakfast served on closing day in 1963. We were able to walk into the pitch black isolation cells, and we learned about both the successful and unsuccessful escape attempts of inmates.
My favorite was the 1962 escape of Frank Morris and the two Anglin brothers who had spent months using spoons to slowly chip holes into the walls of their cells connecting to the pipe space. They put dummy heads they had made out of random materials they'd gathered from the prison in their beds on the night of the escape (you can see the heads still in their cells as well as the holes they dug through the walls). The guards didn't realize until morning, and the three escapees were never seen again. Unlikely as it is, I hope they made it to freedom and are living it up in the tropics somewhere. Godspeed, boys.
We opted to take the later return boat around 9:30 (the prison was very unsettlingly dark, silent, and empty by this time) which allowed us to hear a few more escape stories and see a demonstration of the doors clanging open and shut.
We had entertained the idea of going out that night, but by the time we were headed back to shore, we were too exhausted to even walk back to the hostel, so we instead called an Uber and called it a night.
Day 2 Napa Valley
Sam woke up at 6 and I actually dragged myself out of bed at the same time to go eat the free hostel breakfast and get ready for the day. We were going to try to blend in with the rich folks around Napa so we put on some nice dresses and did our hair.
It was about an hour's pretty drive through the countryside from San Francisco into Napa Valley. We ran into the welcome sign on the side of the road and pulled over for photos.
Narrowing down the wineries was not an easy task. There are hundreds. No exaggeration. Over 400 between Napa and Sonoma counties. I did some Google searching for the best to choose and made my decisions based more on the aesthetics of the winery itself than the wine. I'm no connoisseur and I wanted our tastings on the cheap side (in a very relative sense because nothing in Napa is cheap).
Our first stop was V Sattui, a winery with charming stone buildings and a pretty garden area. It was the cheapest of our stops at $20 per tasting, but we still shared one to split the cost. The wine tasting took place in a very cute shop area that sold souvenirs, wine, and lots of cheese.
We chose the 5 wines we wanted to sample- three reds, a white, and a dessert wine- and she gave us an extra dessert wine tasting when we told her it had been Sam's birthday the day before. Afterwards, we bought a bottle of dry zinfandel we had enjoyed along with some herb goat cheese and crackers and sat outside at a table for a little wine picnic.
Next up was the Castello di Amarosa, an absolutely gorgeous castle built to resemble those from 13th century Tuscany. We were told it was $30 entry regardless of whether or not we split our wine tasting, so we obviously opted for our own.
It was worth it just to see the castle, really. There were beautiful vineyards out front (ignoring my PTSD from my vine-cutting days in New Zealand), a yard full of goats, chickens, and (oddly) emus, plenty of flowers, trees, and a pond, a courtyard interior, an elaborately painted entrance hall, a chapel, and the cellar where the tastings took place. We enjoyed all of our wines and again were given a bonus (the dessert wines were easily the best at each place).
Our final stop was the Chateau Montelena and I wish we'd chosen somewhere else. The building was nice with colorful ivy and a Chinese garden with a lake out front, but the interior was very basic with just a simple bar. We also were distracted when we began chatting to the lady who ran our tasting, and she poured us each the first one before I waved to stop her and ask the price. $42!! She saw the look I gave Sam and asked if we wanted to share instead. I actually just wanted to leave, but we agreed and split the last and least impressive tasting of the day.
So we'd had a great day in the sunshine drinking wine, but the rest of the evening was no fun at all (for me). My plan was to tour Yosemite the following day, and as that is quite a drive from Manteca, I was going to drop Sam off to spend time with her sister and nephew and then head out to a hostel I had booked near the park.
Cabin dorm at Yosemite Bug Hostel
Unfortunately, when mapping out the timeframe on this, I had not taken traffic into consideration. It should have taken less than two hours to get back to Manteca from Napa, but we left during rush hour and ended up stuck in over three hours of standstill traffic. I jumped out of the driver's seat to switch with Sam halfway there so I could try to nap as I was exhausted and had many miles ahead of me before the night was over.
We didn't reach Manteca until 7 PM. I ran inside to quickly shovel down the dinner that Lena had kindly made for us, then jumped right back in the car to continue on east. The first hour was fine- I was on a main highway and there was still some fading light left. The second hour was terrifying. I basically hit the back roads just as night fell, and it was absolutely pitch black outside with no street lights. The only thing illuminating the path were my headlights and the ground lights in the median of the road. I had no idea what was on either side of me. The roads were narrow and winding, I was exhausted and highly anxious, and I had no concept of where I was and what I was passing. I was sure I was about to have a stress-induced aneurysm. When I finally hit a small old west-style town about 10 minutes from my hostel, my nerves were so frayed that I had to pull over and calm down.
It was 10 PM when I arrived at the Yosemite Bug Hostel, a collection of cabins in the hills outside of the park. I checked in, struggled to find a parking spot in the very crowded lot, and finally was able to pass out hard in the 12 bed El Cap cabin dorm.
Day 3
Yosemite National Park
The best part of the Yosemite Bug Hostel was their June Bug cafe where I had a breakfast in the morning. I got a gigantic vegetarian burrito with hash browns, and they had a huge canteen of cold brew coffee out which I refilled three times. My head had started hurting the night before and was banging by the morning. It took me until later on to realize that the altitude had increased by about 3000 feet on my drive up in the pitch dark the night before, so that explained it. The coffee and some ibuprofen helped.
It was another hour's drive from the hostel into Yosemite Valley (paying admission and car entry costs on the way in). I took a turn first towards Bridalveil Falls which was right next to a parking lot. It was a long waterfall pouring down the cliffside, but be careful scrambling up the rocks past the path where multiple tourists have died for a selfie.
I decided to take the 1-2 hour detour (including the time I spent there) up to Glacier Point after that. It was a bit of a drive twisting up the mountains. The views there were incredible though, definitely the best way to see the whole park laid out below you. There were mountains in panorama and great views of some of the big sights like Half Dome and Yosemite Falls.
I finally drove back down and entered Yosemite Valley in the early afternoon, stopping at the suspended bridge on the way which had a nice beach area and people rafting on the water. If you have more time, camping out at Yosemite definitely looks like it would allow for a much better experience and time to really appreciate the park (unlike the rush job I did through it).
The Valley was, unfortunately, highly overrun with tourists. I drove around a parking lot for a half hour waiting for a spot to open up, then waited about another half hour in a massive line out front of the visitor center to catch the free park shuttle.
I wanted to get out of there before dark (absolutely was not wanting to repeat my horrible drive from the night before), so I only had time for a quick hike. I chose the Mirror Lake trail because it was under an hour round trip to reach the seasonal, shallow lake beneath the mountains. You can walk through the ankle-deep water and there were a lot less people there than the other spots I'd visited.
I wish I'd had time for more, but by the time I got back to my car, it was 5 PM and I had to take off if I wanted to complete the three hour drive back to Manteca while there was still daylight. I'm glad I did too, because the road the GPS took me on going home twisted through the mountains taking sharp 180 degree turns along the cliffside. It was nuts.
I made it back to Manteca around 8, finished the rest of our Napa zinfandel with Lena and Sam, and got a good night's sleep.
Day 4 Downtown, Painted Ladies, Tonga Room
After the crazy schedule of the last few days, I was very excited to just chill out in San Francisco for the weekend. We dropped off our rental car in the morning, and Lena dropped Sam and me off at the West Dublin BART Station.
We got off downtown at Powell Station and walked the few blocks to the HI Hostel Downtown. This hostel was so much better than their wharf location! It was spread out over three stories, really cozy with lots of hallways and nooks and big windows looking out on enclosed courtyards. The bathrooms were all single stall rooms. They also upgraded us to a private room for free which was great.
We dropped off our luggage and took a walk across the city to see the Painted Ladies. I will note that San Francisco had a very noticeable homeless population and a lot of junkies on the streets. There was an area right down the road from our hostel where I felt really unsafe even in broad daylight.
The Painted Ladies, aka the houses from Full House, were super picturesque and right across from a large, grassy park. It was a sunny day and we sat out on the hill for awhile taking some photos and videos.
We stopped for some kebabs at a cheap Lebanese joint then picked up alcohol at the shop next door to our hostel (thankfully we were allowed to drink in this one). After a couple drinks, we realized 6 PM was going to be too early to meet people drinking at the hostel, so we got up and walked to a cocktail bar called the Tonga Room. It was only about 6 blocks away, but another thing about San Francisco... hills. God, the hills. The 6 blocks were all steeply uphill, and it was equal to like a month's worth of working out for me.
The Tonga Room was awesome! It was a swanky tiki bar/restaurant with an actual lagoon in the middle of the room. There was a floating stage out there and a DJ playing music on the water, plus occasional rainstorms. Sam and I both ordered zombies which was enough to get decently tipsy on, and Sam as usual started chatting up strangers and we were sharing a fishbowl with some randoms soon enough.
We got back to the hostel around 8 or 9 PM, introduced ourselves to some other travelers who were drinking in a small common room, and played a bunch of drinking games the rest of the night until for some reason I went back to our room, laid down for a minute, and fully passed out still in my clothes. Oops.
Day 5 Mission, Castro, Haight Ashbury, Golden Gate Park, Chinatown
While eating our free breakfast bagels in the giant kitchen upstairs the next morning, we ran into our new Belgian friend, Jules, who invited us to walk around the Mission District with him that morning. After we checked out and stored our bags, we all went to catch the BART which of course had broken down and we sat on the floor of the subway station for over a half hour before our train finally arrived.
This didn't give us a ton of time to see Mission since Sam and I had a brunch reservation, but we walked a few blocks and saw some of the cool graffiti art that is all over the area- very detailed and interesting murals- as well as popped into a cool bookshop.
Sam and I said goodbye to Jules and headed to the Castro District (the rainbow district), where we had booked a table for drag brunch at Hamburger Mary's.
The food and drinks were mediocre (my bloody mary was literally a goblet full of Absolut Peppar with a splash of tomato juice... I choked it down for the buzz), but the entertainment was good and we had a lot of fun giving our dollar bills to the four drag queens who performed. They also called up anyone celebrating a special occasion, so Sam joined the group and had her own little parade around the room working it and making back her money.
Next up was Haight Ashbury, the hippie shopping district. Of course the first expensive designer shop I walked into, Kayo Clothing, was some awesome mix of steampunk and hippie, and I didn't stand a chance. I never really shop, so I thought I'd go ahead and splurge on one item of clothing, but after spending at least a half hour upstairs in the makeshift dressing room and chatting to the girls there about Burning Man and loving basically everything I tried on, I walked out with a top, pants, and a pair of shorts that put a painful hit on my bank account.
We grabbed a coffee after that, wandered Golden Gate Park (the Japanese tea garden had an entry fee otherwise I would have liked to have gone in), and caught an uber to the largest Chinatown outside of Asia for a nice final dinner at Hunan Home.
After retrieving our luggage, we caught the BART to the airport for our 9:30 PM flight which was then delayed... and delayed some more... and I was so on edge by the time we left because of perceived ominous signs I had picked up over the evening (Final Destination really fucked me up back in the day) that I had genuinely considered leaving the plane before takeoff and then could not fall asleep for the life of me on the way home. Every time I'd start to drift off we'd hit turbulence and I'd jolt awake preparing for death. Miserable.
But all is well (or it was after I called an extra few hours off work that morning)! I did make it home and had enjoyed a fun-filled trip. Despite your exorbitant costs, many junkies, and unseasonably chilly weather, I thoroughly enjoyed my time with you, San Francisco.
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