Switzerland

Let me tell you about one of my best friends! Jackie and I met our sophomore year of high school at Walsh Jesuit, and it was a friendship that was just easy from the start. We worked on tech crew together, passed notes during chemistry lectures, binged Dawson's Creek after school, wore corsets to a Broadway show in Chicago on a show choir trip (far from our last Jesuit school fashion offense), danced in the rain in a bamboo forest in Williamsburg, filled Frappuccino bottles with Baileys for school football games where we hung out behind the bleachers or on the soccer fields instead of actually watching football, and were banned from backstage for the entirety of the senior musical in which we were makeup artists because we blew off the preshow in favor of Halloween.

Age 18 in Williamsburg, VA

Despite the fact that she is basically an all-around better person than I am, Jackie has stuck with me through the years. Our friendship standing the test of time is even more impressive because while I was moving all over the world, so was she- from Boston to Ireland to Hawaii and now Chicago. We Skyped monthly through the years and met up whenever fate dictated it possible.

She and her husband worked as actuaries for the same company and were both transferred to Ireland together for a bit. They were on a trip in Switzerland when he proposed to her on top of the Schilthorn, and they decided to have their wedding in the same spot. As if I needed an excuse to plan another trip to Europe, well, this was a great excuse. Switzerland was never high up on my bucket list, but I decided to make a whole week of it instead of country-hopping and covered a good deal of popular Swiss spots while I was there.

Let's start with a quick word of warning though: Switzerland is expensive. It's on par with the Scandinavian countries in terms of cost. The Swiss franc is about 1:1 with the dollar right now, so it was easy to keep track of just how painful the prices were. I'll detail more in the day to day below.

Also, the language in Switzerland is either German or French depending on where you go. On the trains, the attendants will say both "merci" and "danke schoen." We spoke neither which was very helpful.

Day 1

Geneva

I was surprised at how small the Geneva airport was upon landing and very pleased to find out they offered free train tickets to the city center that you could retrieve from a machine at baggage claim. I had booked an Air BnB in the Geneva city center and was slightly wary that although the owner, Marcel, had told me that I could check in early in the morning, I had not heard from him again.

The BnB was awesomely located about two minutes from the train station on foot in the middle of a pedestrian only street. I found the big wooden door with the correct number, but it was the entrance to a larger apartment building and also was locked. The sweet guy working at the coffee shop next door gave me their wifi password, and after another 10 minutes of me loitering outside, he went around to open that locked door and let me sit in the hallway to wait. And wait. And feel really awkward curled in a ball next to my suitcase while residents started heading out for the morning and giving me odd looks.

Marcel was not responding to my texts or my messages, and it was about an hour and a half later (my flight had landed at 6 and it was now 9 AM) that he finally appeared apologizing for not realizing I was here. Despite my very clear messages about planning to arrive around 8, I forgave him immediately because he was SO nice, as was his much younger Thai roommate who I met upstairs. Plus they had an adorable tabby cat, Pousinette, who was basically the reason I had booked this Air BnB in the first place (also- cheapest accommodation of the trip at only $90 and smack in the middle of the city). But seriously, these hosts were so freaking friendly and I loved them both. Also, Marcel had spent a weird amount of time in northeast Ohio for work and that was so very random discuss with someone I just met on the other side of the Atlantic.

Anyway, there was a private bedroom with shared living facilities otherwise. I took a much needed shower and then went down to let Lewis in when he arrived on his short flight from Scotland. We set out to do our best at one day city sightseeing, but I was crashing hard. We managed to view Lake Geneva, struggle through ordering lunch in a French speaking restaurant and ending up really annoyed when the bottled water we ordered was sparkling (blagh), and wander through a free art museum. Geneva was pretty, but it was lacking character to me.

I was about to pass out on the city streets by 3 PM, and Lewis insisted on dragging me back to the BnB where I immediately fell asleep for two hours. I could have slept all night, but for the sake of adjusting my body clock, I got back up to walk halfway across the city looking for a good dinner spot before we settled on the cheap kebab shop a few doors down from the BnB. We retreated back to the room after where I cursed Netflix for putting country restrictions on its content (no Office in Europe, damn you, Netflix), and we studied some French on Duolingo which was utterly pointless as we ventured into predominantly German speaking territory for the remainder of the trip anyway (but the dirty phrase I learned how to say in French years ago now makes so much more sense that I know "le chat" means cat!).

Speaking of, this Geneva street art was clearly created specifically to summon me.

Days 2-4

Mürren

We checked out in the morning and caught the train to Lauterbrunnen via connections through Bern and Interlaken. It took a couple hours but the scenery was gorgeous. Trains ended up being a rough expense overall. It was about 60 francs for this first one, 80 to Zermatt, 90 to Bern, roughly 50 to Lucerne, and 30 to Zurich. This plus a few smaller transit segments equaled up to over 300 francs/dollars for the week. I had looked into buying in advance since that saved a bunch of money in Scotland, but in Switzerland it made no difference, so we just booked at the stations as we went. You can buy a Swiss travel pass that offers big discounts on trains and activities, but that's about $600 to start with anyway! And renting a car was no less expensive either. We just sucked it up and paid.

Besides, train is my favorite way to travel and Switzerland's scenery did not disappoint.

From Lauterbrunnen, we had to take a gondola (cable car) to connect to a mountain train to bring us to beautiful Mürren. There are no cars in the village, and it's just charming perfection nestled in the middle of the Swiss Alps.

I normally opt for cheap accommodation, but Jackie and everyone else attending the wedding was staying at the Hotel Eiger, so we majorly set aside our usual budget and booked their (still cheapest) room at 280 CHF per night. This hotel though was fantastic! To start, the staff were beyond accommodating- they knew who we were, someone met us at the train to immediately grab our luggage, they personally walked us to our room, bartenders brought drinks to our table, and they were so helpful with everything for Jackie's wedding as well. Our room was super comfy and nicely decorated, and slippers and bathrobes were provided. There was a heated pool, saunas, a nice bar and restaurant, and the breakfast buffet was one of the best I've been to. Maybe because it provided champagne at 8 AM? Probably.

We had a "rehearsal dinner" minus any rehearsing the first night at Le Grotte, a cute stone-walled restaurant with fantastic food. I had onion soup, spinach and ricotta crepes, and chocolate mousse, and we all shared a bottle of wine. Back at the hotel bar, we stayed up having drinks for awhile before resting up for the wedding (or, in my case, staying up a few hours later than necessary trying to compile a cute photo collage to celebrate my best friend's wedding).

Le Grotte

I was loving the morning breakfast buffet with the various cheeses and breads, multi-fruit juice (this was at every buffet in Switzerland and I enthusiastically adopted it as my breakfast drink), hard and soft boiled eggs, hot foods, fruits, the aforementioned champagne, and more.

We had some free time before the wedding and went to check out the pool. First of all, it was deserted both days we went down there which Lewis happily ditched his boxers to celebrate, and it was such a cute pool! There were huge windows overlooking the mountains, the room was heated, and there were various jets, steel benches, and showerheads all around the perimeter of the water.

We were running a little late to get ready for the wedding (although not too late for some outdoor bikini photos on the balcony), but once we were back in the room we got some bummer news from Jackie's sister. The gondolas to the top of the Schilthorn were closed at the moment due to high winds, so Jackie and Derek couldn't have their ceremony on the observation platform there where they had planned it. Man, I don't know how Jackie bounced back, she's way more laid-back than I am. I was upset and it wasn't even my wedding! Luckily the hotel was able to accommodate them last minute and they held it on the same balcony where I had been taking scantily clad photos only hours before.

We did have some extra time to prepare, so once we were looking suave as fuck (ok... Lewis was looking suave as fuck... I just did my best to compete), we went to hang out with my other high school friend Stacey and her husband Cory in their nicer suite with a long mountain-view balcony. Lewis had brought whiskey, naturally, so we had a few glasses before we had to head down for the ceremony.

The wedding was perfect. They incorporated bits of all the cultures that meant something to their relationship: Marrying in Switzerland in the same place (well, almost) they'd gotten engaged, on St. Patrick's Day because they lived in Ireland, with a Hawaiian blessing because they also lived in Hawaii, and with the Hobbit theme as Jackie's entrance music because, well, they're awesome. Also, Jackie looked like a stunning winter fairy tale QUEEN.

While they were taking photos afterwards, we had some more drinks in Stacey's room, then we met back up downstairs for the reception. There was a four course meal- I had a caprese salad, soup, tomato risotto, and an apple fritter and chocolate mousse. Traditional Swiss performers provided entertainment throughout the whole night with tons of various instruments including accordions, keyboards, bells, and an alphorn (this Swiss instrument that looks a bit like a didgeridoo).

There were many bottles of alcohol out for open season, and I... mildly overdid it. Lewis contained the nightmare that was me so I thankfully did not disturb the other guests, and not only was he still speaking to me at the end of the night, he even took my jewelry off for me while I was passing out on the bed which I would never have done if I had to suffer through the nihilistic bullshit I was spinning all evening.

Here's sober Maria from earlier instead.

I had an apocalyptic hangover the next morning as well-earned punishment. Lewis dragged me to breakfast where I forced down some juice and a few bites of food before retreating back to the room feeling sick. I laid on the bed, pitied myself, managed to shower, let Lewis pack my suitcase, cried, considered dying as an alternative to checking out, and then hid my face with sunglasses and a hood while I shuffled with the group to our post-wedding day fondue lunch. Derek's dad said he had always wondered what death warmed over looked like and now he knew.

Well, fellow elderly folk, I have discovered the cure for hangovers. When I sat down at that table, I could barely lift my head out of my arms, but after slowly lining my stomach with bread and potatoes covered in delicious thick cheesy fondue and a coffee with Baileys, I was a brand new human being. I practically skipped out of that restaurant! Never have I experienced a turnaround so fast! It was truly miraculous.

We had taken the gondola up to the panoramic fondue restaurant, and once we were back in town, we went for a swim, took a walk with Stacey and Cory, inquired about heading up to the Schilthorn but would only have had an hour before close not really justifying the $80+ it cost (especially with the fog that day), and grabbed our luggage to take the mountain train and gondola down to Interlaken for the night.

I had booked us a private room at a cute hostel called Balmers which looks like it might have a decent social scene in the summer when they open the outdoor bar. We had an Indian out at a place called Taj Mahal and then had an early night since we'd decided we might as well go all out in decimating our bank account and wake up early for the Schilthorn the next day.

Day 5 The Schilthorn & Birg Thrill Walk

This was a major hit on our funds, especially considering that if the wedding ceremony had taken place where it was supposed to, our ride up to the Schilthorn would have been paid for. Now with the extra bus and train trip from Interlaken to the bottom of the gondola, it put us out about $120 in total.

Considering I'll probably never be in the area again though, I was ok with it (and let's be real, I've spent money on far more ridiculous things). Plus it was worth it! There's an observation platform with fantastic mountaintop views in all directions, and there's a whole tribute to James Bond because this was the filming location for On Her Majesty's Secret Service.

There are fun props all over to take photos with, Bond World inside with posters, memorabilia, and interactive activities, and the coolest bathrooms showing silhouettes of Bonds and Bond Girls on the main doors and the stalls.

I enjoyed the next gondola stop down, Birg, even more. I ordered a drink while Lewis got food, and the lady at the stall recommended this light coffee with plum schnapps as a traditional beverage for the area. I'm still not convinced it wasn't tea (it definitely looked like tea) and it mostly tasted like the plum schnapps, but it was good! And warm.

The best part of Birg (and the whole day) was the thrill walk. It was a steel walkway wrapped along the mountainside, and there were thrill sections the whole way around- a tightrope, glass floored path, and a chain link tunnel you could crawl through. It was so cool and featured amazing views.

We were, however, in a rush, as Lewis had a flight to catch out of Zurich that evening to attend a very inconveniently scheduled job assessment in Glasgow that he'd only been given two weeks notice for, and he had to be on the next train out of Interlaken or he'd never make it. I retrieved our luggage from the handy station lockers while he bought his ticket, and he didn't have a minute to spare as he ran for it. Unfortunately, this caused me to miss my next train down to Zermatt, so I was stuck waiting around the station for an hour and a bit with my book.

I had a few connections to take down to Zermatt, but the last train from Visp was really nice with huge windows overlooking the gorgeous mountain scenery on the way down.

I dragged my suitcase down the main street to the Hotel Helvetia and then up three flights of stairs, but I really liked my cute and cozy little room. I only ventured out once for a solo dinner and tried a unique alpine pasta which was penne in cream sauce with fried onions, potatoes, and a side of applesauce to pour over top. It had been a long day, so I was happy to crash early.

Day 6

Zermatt

Zermatt itself was super adorable and romantic... really perfect for me abandoned on my own.

I went to the info center to buy my Swiss ski pass (you can alternately buy an international pass if you're planning on crossing the slopes into Italy) and then to the rental shop, Stoked, underneath my hotel to pick up a board and boots.

My first run started at the Gornergrat station, so I took the mountain train up there and got my first views of the Matterhorn. This was a very scenic slope because the Matterhorn was next to you the whole time as you boarded down. It was a warm and sunny day, but as luck would have it, the strap on my goggles snapped as soon as I got to the top and I spent the next five hours blinded by the sun and snow.

This was a great slope to spend most of my day on. It was gradual and not too difficult, but I was still coming from an elevation of 10,135 feet (apparently the highest open-air railway station in Europe) and took 2-3 hours boarding down at a leisurely pace.

My absolute favorite part of the day was finding a totally random igloo bar in a detour off the slopes, only accessible if you were skiing or boarding.

There was a wooden outdoor bar, chairs spread out on the snow, music playing, and an actual igloo you could wander through with two bedrooms, a bar, and a lounge area built into the snow and ice (all blocked off, but still cool to look at).

I had a boozy coffee followed by a pale ale on a recliner while just taking in the Matterhorn view and absolutely loving life.

It was around 2:30 or 3 PM when I reached the bottom of the slope, and I was personally ready to call it a day, but I was at a gondola junction and saw that I had the option to head to the top of Matterhorn Glacier Paradise at the highest cable car station in Europe. I had paid $80 for my ski pass and $60 for my gear, and I did want to make the most of my money, so I decided to go for it.

MISTAKE. I very quickly realized the error I had made as the cable car rose higher and higher... and higher... and I watched Zermatt shrink into a tiny speck below me. Matterhorn Glacier Paradise was remote, being at an elevation of 12,740 feet, and I was already battling my nerves from the observation deck as I realized I would have get DOWN from this height on a snowboard.

This crucifix was more ominous than comforting.

I couldn't keep stalling though because it was getting late, and as a friendly sign at the top of the slope warned me, if you were out past the last safety sweep of the mountain, you were RISKING YOUR LIFE (I can't remember if it was actually in all caps or my mind made it that way). I was... oh, about an hour from that danger time. With just 12,740 feet to go.

My face luckily doesn't betray my abject terror at this moment.

I tried to keep calm, not helped by the wind blowing gusts of snow right along my path. I made it to the Italy/Switzerland split and chose the correct country, but then pretty soon the path really started dying down. There were fewer and fewer people coming by me, and I was spending 5 minutes at a time... then 10... alone without another human in sight. I was already exhausted from my earlier run and was stopping to sit way too frequently.

The helicopters started flying overhead surveying the mountain, I could see the sun sinking, and I was panicking. On top of that, I had reached a lot of very flat stretches where I couldn't pick up enough momentum to move forward, so I was taking off my board and walking for ages at a time. I was lost in the mountains and had no idea where the next gondola was. I waved down a German couple at some point, clearly not calm, and asked them how far Zermatt was. They hardly spoke any English, but they told me I should see a gondola in 20 minutes and it would take me back down. The guy told me to take it slow which was the opposite of what I wanted to do.

I mostly trudged through the snow the rest of the way there save for a few short stretches with enough of a decline to board, and it was 5 by the time I reached the gondola (I had started down Glacier Paradise around 3:45). I had been fighting off a severe anxiety attack for about an hour now with visions of collapsing on the mountain in the cold dark with no one to find me until morning, so as soon as I opened my mouth to speak to the first human I saw at the station (some very stoic looking guy in a construction truck), I started hyperventilating and am pretty sure I didn't manage to play it off as being out of breath. I finally managed to ask if I could get back down the mountain, and he said the gondolas were still running for another half hour, so I pushed my way over to the turnstile inside, boarded the cable car, and my entire body started shaking uncontrollably as relief set in.

Town! Buildings! People!

After I dropped off my equipment and changed clothes, I rewarded myself with a beer at the bar down the road while I waited for my takeaway (hot vegan sushi rolls and sweet potato fries) which I ate on my bed in my underwear and washed down with whiskey. Self care.

Ah, and on top of the whole ordeal, I obtained a brutally red sunburn and was not convinced that I wouldn't have permanent scarring as half my face skin fell off over the next few days. Plus my awesomely painful bloodshot eyes really completed the "what the fuck happened to this girl" look (in fact, the woman at hostel reception in Bern stared at me in shock and asked that very question). Anyway, 50/50 day on the slopes, I'll call it a win.

Day 7 Bern

I adored Bern. Switzerland's little capital has so much charm, I was happy just existing within its borders.

Lewis flew back and met me in a coffee shop at the train station, and we walked to the Youth Hostel where we had booked a private room. Our room was in a separate building and had a bare, spartan look to it with concrete walls and floors, but it had these huge wall-length windows overlooking the river and the comfiest bed of the entire trip, and I loved it.

We spent that evening and the next morning walking around the city. The main street is lined with 16th century fountains, each one different, and features a historic astronomical clock.

The main street also holds Einstein's old apartment which only costs a few francs to see (and the lady offered us the student discount without even asking for college ID, so, if you look young, just lie). The apartment itself on the second floor is super tiny, but it's just pretty neat to stand in the home of someone so brilliant and famous knowing that this is where they lived their day to day life. The third floor has a bunch of information on Einstein, and the ground floor is a cafe.

The symbol of Bern is the bear (the reason is up for debate), and there is a free BärenPark right along the river which is home to a few brown bears who roam up and down the hill in the scenic location. It's basically a nice zoo exhibit at no charge, and bears are awesome, so I recommend swinging by. There's a nice lookout point nearby for city views as well.

Bern is so tiny you shouldn't have any issues fitting lots in, and the trees and greenery surrounding the city make the walk enjoyable anyway.

Days 8-9 Lucerne

It was an hour train ride from Bern to reach Lucerne, a very pretty city on Lake Lucerne.

We had booked an Air BnB for our stay here, and it was AMAZING! One of my favorite things about Air BnB is that while usually professional pictures for hotels look nicer than the real thing, it tends to be the opposite with these listings. The online photos for the apartment we booked did not do it justice at all.

We had such a spacious living area with natural light streaming through, a kitchen, and a separate bedroom. The owners even set up a spare bed in the main area since my German friend was meant to visit, but unfortunately she had to bail last minute. To top it off, there was a long balcony overlooking a church and the mountain backdrop. Also, it was so central and cost less than any of the hotels and hostels we booked through the trip.

We took it super easy the first night, hit up the Coop for groceries to save some money during our stay (also looking through foreign supermarkets can be kind of fun- there were so many things I wanted to try in their vegetarian section!), and finally found an illegal link to binge the Office all night.

It was gorgeously warm and sunny the following day, and we took a nice walk around the city. The Chapel Bridge is the most famous and well-photographed site- a wooden covered pedestrian bridge from the 1300s with a stone water tower.

There were some smaller covered bridges along the water as well, and we stopped in a couple of churches, one of which was all decorated in white and pink marble and was very pretty.

We took a cable car up to this nice hotel on a hill overlooking the city and had a beer outside enjoying the view.

It was a good opportunity to stock up on Swiss chocolate as well. I bought a bunch as gifts for people back home and about an equal amount for myself. They aren't kidding about the quality of the chocolate over there. I had to seriously check myself at the large Chocolate World shop we went into and put back 50% of what I was about to empty my wallet on.

Derek and Jackie had demonstrated a true gesture of friendship by giving us three leftover bottles of champagne from the wedding, and now that our friends weren't coming up, we had to shoulder the burden of drinking them all ourselves while soaking up the sunshine on our balcony. It was really just a terrible way to end the evening.

Day 10 Zurich

Our last day was spent in Zurich, which surpassed the unfairly low expectations I had for it. The city had charm to it with winding alleyways, a river, churches, and old buildings.

We stayed at the Hotel Bristol near the train station which was pretty basic and affordable, but they upgraded us to a balcony room which was nice.

We stopped by Lindenhof Square, a plaza used as a recreational area with a view of the city and people scattered around playing games like giant chess or old man bocci-style sports.

There are public fountains all around Switzerland and the water is clean to drink from the taps.

Our last activity of the trip was the Thermalbad Spa, located in an old brewery. It was 36 CHF for a day pass which wasn't bad at all. They had a large hot tub inside these wooden walls like a big barrel. It had three sections connected by water passages. Even better, there was a rooftop infinity pool that overlooked the entire city. No photos allowed though of course! Because why would you want to allow people promote your awesome spa with super cool photos?? It's not like it was that nude spa we went to in Germany, everyone here was decent.

Dinner that night was at Hiltl, the world's oldest vegetarian restaurant opened in 1898. There's a massive buffet downstairs, all veggie!!, where you can load up a plate, weigh it, and pay by how much you take. We opted to hit the buffet for appetizers and dessert but order main courses off the menu. I went for the Zurcher Geschnetzeltes since it's a traditional dish from Zurich consisting of usually veal, but in this case, fake meat, with mushrooms, cream, onion, and wine with rosti (like a potato fritter) on the side. Everything we stocked up on at the buffet was awesome too. Highly recommend.

We had an early night because I had to be up at 7 AM to catch the train to the Zurich airport. I'm glad I got there early too because it was a bitch of an airport to find your way around. There were three entirely separate check-in areas nowhere near each other that the airlines were split between. It took me 20 minutes to find the check-in point for United, at least a half hour to check my bag, and then a decent amount of time to get to the international terminal from there. There were oddly quite a few guards with guns walking around the international terminal, and that along with the fact that security stopped every person on my plane on the on-ramp to ask us very specific security questions made me think something was up. But whatever! I made it home safe as did all other flights that day, so who knows.

I enjoyed Switzerland, but I'd cut my time there in half if I did it over again. It's painfully expensive and would probably best be included in a combination trip with some other European destinations. I am glad I got to have the posh Swiss Alps experience once in my life, but now it's back to reality and budget travel for the foreseeable future.